One of the things I love to do is sports travelling.  Being a baseball fan, one of the bucket list items I have is to visit every major league stadium before I die.  Before kids, I was doing pretty good with that – 11 out of 30, so far.  It also made for a good excuse to visit different cities, try different beer, and just get out on the road.

But kids changed that.  If I get to a baseball game, my choices are basically watch the TV near the playground or leave early.  And it’s not leave early to get to the bars.  Its leave early and put the kids down because they are in full meltdown mode. 

I have been coming to terms with my new life situation, and discovered a nice compromise: Minor League Baseball.  They are all over the place, are a lot cheaper, more family friendly, and still have some decent ball going on.  I still only get to watch an inning or two, though.

So this weekend, we decided to take a day trip to Allentown to see the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.  After all, it was only going to be 100 degrees.  Babies and toddlers love that, right?  Especially after a nice long day of sightseeing (Yes, it is possible in Allentown).

We started our day at the Lil Le Hi Fish Hatchery in Allentown (“Little Lehigh.”  Get it?  I know, stupid).  For $4, we bought two big bags of fish food, and a bottle of water to drink.  Until the heat got to them (about 10 minutes in), the kids were having fun.  I was too.  Throwing the food to the trout in those pools was like watching Black Friday Walmart shoppers go after the last $17 flat screen.  It was hilarious.  The only problem with the place was that my hands smelled like fish food, because the bathroom didn’t have any sinks. 

After that, we decided to stop for lunch.  For about $60, we fed ourselves and two kids in a roadside BBQ restaurant called Grumpy’s.  From the outside, it looked like we were going to the Roadhouse before Patrick Swayze showed up.  It looked more bar than restaurant, but we were hungry, and decided what the hell.  And I was glad we did.  They had an awesome menu – I recommend the Gator Bites and Honey Bee Brisket.  And we were able to keep the kids from telling us how bored they were by playing a game of “I Spy” with the decorations.  Unfortunately, they didn’t care when I told them how bored I was (“Something pink, huh?  Could it be the pig statue for the 40th time?”).

After that, we drove to a car museum downtown called America on Wheels.  For $9, we got a Groupon for the adults, and we only had to pay for one of our kids ($5).  The museum wasn’t huge, but it had just enough to keep the kids busy for an hour or so. 

After that, ice cream!  We found a cool corner place in Bethlehem called Nuts About Ice Cream.  It was right across the street from the high school and had a cool 1950s retro feel to it.  I almost gave my wife my varsity pin to see if she would go steady with me!  But the coolest part about it was the ice cream.  Homemade and delicious.  Our daughter must have told us it was the best vanilla ice cream she ever had like 20 times.  $15 later, we had a table of happy snackers.

Now we had a dilemma: an hour and a half before the Iron Pigs game, and it was 95 degrees still.  My gut told me to just call it a day and head home.  But why would I start listening to that asshole!  Off to the game!  The kids said they wouldn’t mind the heat.  They are 4 and 6, why would they lie to me?

It would probably be harsh to call our experience at Coca-Cola Park a disaster…but that is basically what it was.  $5 for parking is not bad, and we were pretty close to the field.  $48 for tickets got us six rows from the field (at least that is what the guy told me.  I didn’t get to sit there long enough to tell if he was right).  $20 on bracelets so the kids could play in the playland all game (so of course they were done in 10 minutes).  And another $30 on food and drinks.  And why would they ask for everything at one time?  It’s more fun to ask dad for a pretzel right after he gets back with the cheesesteak, right?  Especially after refusing to eat the cheesesteak because you manage to find the tiniest onion in it.

But the best part was the rain delay.  And of course it wasn’t just a little drizzle, but an honest-to-God Jesus is coming apocalyptic light show with the type of clouds that normally mean tornado.  Seriously, look at this picture.  And the bishop threw out the first pitch, why couldn’t he handle it?  So with the kids freaking out about the end of the world coming, we decided to call it a day after cowering in the tunnel for about an hour.  We may have missed the fireworks after the game, but they did get their Bacon jerseys.

All in all, not a bad trip.  We managed to fill up a full day of sightseeing in Allentown (I bet you didn’t see that coming!).  Excluding gas and tolls, it cost us about $200 for a ballgame, lunch, a snack, a museum trip and fish food.  Shit, make that $220.  I broke down and bought the kids some stupid barking dogs at the museum. 

If we go back that way, there are still plenty of other things to do: Mack Trucks Museum, The Rose Garden, and the Da Vinci Science Center, just to name a few.  Being a native Philadelphian, I am not sure how I feel about there being a Liberty Bell Museum in Allentown.  I may have to boycott that one.  Philly doesn’t have a museum dedicated to that stupid Billy Joel song about closing factories, does it?