Ah, bourbon. Besides jazz and anything from the Kardashians, it may be America’s greatest artistic output. And bourbon making is truly an art form. There are some simple rules to follow: it has to be made in the US, be at least 51% corn, aged in a new, charred oak barrel, and be between 80 and 160 proof. Distillers can add other grains, such as rye, wheat and malted barley, but nothing else to create flavor. So no sugar, honey, fruit etc. Within these limitations, distillers are able to create some amazingly varied spirits, and some of the best whiskey in the world. Though bourbon can be made anywhere in the United States, a true aficionado knows that the best bourbon is made in Kentucky.
My college friends and I are all turning 40 this year. We somehow convinced the wives to stay home with the kids and let us “celebrate” out of town. However, I think that they were either just happy to see us go, or were planning on holding this over our heads for the next 40 years. Despite still having the maturity of 16 year olds, we are no longer satisfied with shots of Goldschläger and 30 packs of Red Dog. Our palates are slightly more sophisticated now, and we are all people that appreciate art. Since one of us had recently been to New Orleans, and LA was too far for a KUWTK tour, we decided that bourbon was the way to go. So we made a trip to the heart of Bourbon Country: Louisville, Kentucky.
It was my job to set up the distillery tours and tastings for the trip. With over 36 distilleries on the official Kentucky Bourbon Trail alone, this looked to be quite a task. Some are in dry counties, so you can tour, but not sample. For each, we would need to figure out the tour times and prices, and coordinate driving multiple cars back and forth, which didn’t seem like such a great idea when we were planning on sampling bourbon all day. So I began looking into tour groups to help me figure this out. After looking through several different companies, I found one that seemed just right for our crew: The Kentucky Bourbon Boys.
The Kentucky Bourbon Boys do private and customizable tours for your group, big or small. The price was right: two distillery tours, a tasting at a third, lunch, snacks and transportation all day for about $150 a person. Between that and the dozens of positive reviews, I figured these were my “boys”. After some careful consideration (OK, drinking), I chose a couple distilleries around Louisville and got ready for our trip. The only other thing I needed to do after that was let them know what I wanted for lunch. They sent out a confirmation about our itinerary, and also offered some other suggestions for things to check out during our stay.
The day of our tour came and Roger, our driver / guide for the day, came to pick us up where we were staying. We didn’t have to travel to some central meeting point and get on a bus with a bunch of strangers. The tour was just the six of us and our host. He brought a bag of snacks, some water, Gatorade, as well as a sense of humor and a lot patience, which probably came in handy for dealing with our six dumbasses all day. By coincidence (honest!) four of us went on the tour in red polos and khaki shorts. We looked like a crew of greeters from Target on our lunch break. After we loaded onto the bus, we went to our first stop: Stitzel-Weller Distillery.
Stitzel-Weller is one of the more impressive distilleries I have seen. The grounds have some large buildings that were used to store hundreds of thousands of gallons of whiskey. While the original distillers went out of business, the grounds (as well as the aging whiskey casks in those tall buildings) were sold to Diageo and turned over to another Kentucky bourbon maker: Bulleit. We joined a larger group for this tour, where a bachelorette party assumed our red shirts meant we were the tour guides. One of the women assured us the girls would have followed us “anywhere”…but only after we told them the truth! Damnit!
The tour here was probably the most impressive: our guide walked us through the distilling process in their experimental lab, showed us how some of the barrels were stored for aging, then brought us into a nice big room for the most important part: sampling. We got to try four different whiskeys they make, explained the different processes used for them, and gave us some scoring sheets to help us identify the flavors. I just focused on drinking the whiskey in front of me – the paper and pencil made me feel like I was taking some kind of whiskey SAT.
With our bellies warmed with whiskey and bourbon (yes, there is a difference – all bourbons are whiskies, but not all whiskies are bourbons), it was time for lunch. We made our way back to downtown Louisville for lunch at Against the Grain Brewery. Lunch was preordered, so it was ready for us when we got there. Though it was not included in the cost, we all decided to get a sample of their beer while visiting – also well worth it. If you find yourself in Louisville, make sure you stop by for some of their beer as well as their brisket with a side of their Brussel sprouts. They were delicious.
Next stop was a tasting at a distillery that was new to me – Kentucky Peerless Distilling, also in downtown Louisville. They are a craft distillery that only uses sweet mash – fresh yeast, as opposed to reusing previously fermented yeast from other batches. Our host there was very friendly and knowledgeable – she told us all about their history and processes, while also giving some insight into each of the whiskies we were trying. We also found some nice red shirts for the other two guys in our group to purchase in the gift shop. Sadly, they decided they were too cool for Team Target.
Finally, we made our way east of the city to the one I was most looking forward to: Kentucky Artisan Distillery, makers of Jefferson bourbon. Though the facility was smaller than Bulleit’s, they also gave a pretty impressive tour – they even had some sour mash in open vats so that we can have a taste. And don’t worry – they scooped it out. I didn’t stick my nasty-ass hands in your beloved bourbon. They also told us about one of the most interesting whiskey aging processes I have heard of – they stick a bunch of barrels on a ship that travels around the world for eight months a year, aging and mixing the whiskey as it goes from the Artic to the Equator along the ocean. Jefferson’s Ocean had an interesting flavor as a result. It was not my favorite of their offerings, but I was impressed with the creativity in aging and flavoring it. You should set up a visit and try it for yourself.
With our tours for the day over, Roger was still cool enough to drive us around a bit more. We stopped at the Louisville Slugger Museum store so we could pick up some mini-bats (OK, weapons) for the kids. After that, he brought us back home to drop off some of our things, so we could head out for the night unencumbered. He then brought us to a cool bar he recommended: Holy Grale, a former Unitarian Church converted into an awesome bar with some great food. Sacrilicious!
